Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Bad words: Nebraska declares many words and names to be off limits when spelled/written

For immediate release
From the Nebraska State Government Headquarters

In response to criticisms of our handling of the sign language based signing of a child's name we have decided that it would only be rationale to also apply the same standard to written and spoken words.  Therefore, be it declared that any words or names that are one letter substitution away from anything bad should be banned.

For example, due to the danger associated with the word G-U-N (which we note - we are just spelling here but not actually writing the word) the following names have been banned: GUS, GUY and the following words are not allowed either GUM, GUY, BUN, RUN, SUN, FUN, GIN, PUN, GUT

For similar reasons it has been deemed that the following names and words to be banned:

  • Names: Ash, Bart, Buck, Butch, Cam, Coco, Dick, Dirk, Fitch, Huck, Luck, Mitch, Nick, Santorum, Tito
  • Words: abs, ads, ash, ask, asp, batch, bits, buck, bum, bunt, butch, can't, cart, cent, chit, cub, cud, cup, cut, dart, deck, dice, dink, disk, diss, ditch, dock, dock, duck, fare, farm, fits, fort, funk, hiss, hitch, hits, hum, hunt, itch, jock, kick, kiss, kits, lick, lock, luck, miss, mock, muck, mum, nits, part, pick, pitch, pits, puck, punt, rock, rum, runt, santorum, shin, ship, shot, sick, sits, skit, slit, snit, sock, spit, such, sum, tart, tats, tick, tins, tips, tots, tuck, wart, witch, wits, yuck, yum
To help everyone out we have organized the names into clusters based on the banned word (which we would rather not spell out here).

Group 1:
  • Names: Butch, Fitch, Mitch
  • Words: batch, butch, witch, ditch, hitch, pitch, itch
Group 2:
  • Names: Coco
  • Words: dock, jock, lock, mock, rock, sock
Group 3:
  • Names: Tito
  • Words: tots, tats, bits, fits, hits, kits, nits, pits, sits, wits, tins, tips,
Group 4:
  • Names: Ash
  • Words: ash, abs, ads, ask, asp,
Group 5:
  • Names: Bart
  • Words: farm, fare, fort, cart, dart, part, tart, wart
Group 6:
  • Names: Santorum
  • Words: santorum
Group 7:
  • Names:
  • Words: spit, slit, skit, snit, chit, shot, shin, ship
Group 8:
  • Names: Huck, Luck, Buck
  • Words: funk, buck, duck, luck, muck, puck, tuck, yuck, such
Group 9:
  • Names:
  • Words: can't, cent, bunt, hunt, punt, runt
Group 11:
  • Names: 
  • Words:  miss, diss, hiss, kiss, 
Group 12:
  • Names: Nick, Dirk,
  • Words: kick, lick, pick, sick, tick, deck, dock, disk, dink, dice
Group 13:
  • Names: Cam
  • Words: gum, bum, rum, hum, mum, sum, yum, cut, cud, cub, cup, cut
More groups / banned words coming


  1. The word semprini is apparently legal in Nebraska now, right? Yay!!

  2. Really Jon, it took some searching to find what I assume was the inspiration for this post, given that I am avoiding most news sources in order to escape the Republican convention. It was presumably this incident:

    Guy -- still legal in 49 states ;-)

  3. He can sign with a bow & arrow instead of a gun....


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