Thursday, December 31, 2009

Evolutionary classification applied to soups & meals

Written by Saul Jacobson - I think to mock me but you never know with him:
Molecular comparisons show that soup on this planet divides into three primary groupings, commonly known as the stews, the broths, and the chowders. The three are very dissimilar, the differences that separate them being of a more profound nature than the differences that separate typical meals, such as steaks and salads. Unfortunately, neither of the conventionally accepted views of the natural relationships among meals -i.e., the five-kingdom taxonomy or the appetizer/dinner dichotomy--reflects this primary tripartite division of the eating world. To remedy this situation we propose that a formal system of meals be established in which, above the level of eating, there exists a new taxon called a "course." Meals on this planet would then be seen as comprising three courses, the appetizer, the main course, and the dessert, each containing two or more plates


  1. In addition, some stews, such as hotpot, must undergo a processing step prior to consumption. The raw ingredients, or microstew, while serving as the replicative form, are not directly consumed but are the basis of the final macrostew. It is not clear why this process evolved, as other stews are served in a directly edible form.

  2. Ironically, the end result of any of these "meals" is excrement, yet Primordial soup created life.