The post starts off with
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.And then, after a crushing test of fitness
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.Then the winning M&M is sent to Mars with a note
Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.Best part - Mars sent him a coupon for free M&Ms which he considers "grant money." Who said evolution can't be fun.
Thanks to Michael Eisen for pointing this out.